I had been postponing writing this for a long time. I wondered: what do people want to hear? Should I write to be liked or should I write authentically? I chose authenticity because it is at the core of my work. So here is what is present in me right now.

I have vivid memories of my childhood. I was deeply connected to myself, to nature, and to animals. Creativity felt magical. I loved spending hours alone, drawing or writing stories. Each new day felt like a gift, and I carried a deep gratitude for being alive.

Gradually, layer by layer, I accumulated experiences that covered that essence, layers of trauma, layers of beliefs, and layers of patterns. As I entered my teenage years, I slowly lost that connection. Life’s circumstances and expectations pulled me away from myself. I shifted from living from the heart to being trapped in a judgmental mind, constantly striving to be “good enough” for others. Over time, more layers built up, and my essence became hidden beneath them. My body grew tired. Panic attacks and intense anxiety became part of daily life. I sought answers outside of myself, trying to understand my questions through the mind, but the more I searched, the more lost I felt.